i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
