he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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