I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'm having to shit out rocks
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