After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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