My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize