So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Randomize
