i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize