he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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