That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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