Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize