Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
