he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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