So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
