I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
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