I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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