Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
