Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
