just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
