How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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