New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
