we have officially lost it.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
