he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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