I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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