..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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