im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
