my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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