Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
everyone is single if you try hard enough
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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