The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
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