Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
