Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
