Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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