Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
