I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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