I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
