Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
