The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
