im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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