Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Every concussion has its silver lining
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
