Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
ttyl tear gas
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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