And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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