she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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