My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize
