no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
