shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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