I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I need water and some morals
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
