Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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