I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Reggie can tackle my bush.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
