I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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