Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
