You really coming over, don't trick.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
