So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
