the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
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I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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