You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
