roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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