im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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