I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
