ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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