If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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