Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
