I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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