Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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