I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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