just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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