Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
