blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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