someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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