My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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